So today as I'm watching my four month old daughter mesmerized by the palm tree shadows stroking the hot glaring patio concrete, I think, that's how it always is. Blazing hot joy and dark streaks of sorrow. Or maybe just monotony and exhaustion. Hey, I am a new mom. But yeah, my daughter's pixie face morphing into a fat grin festooned with a thousand chins--they way she seems to play cute and innocent and coo up at me after nursing, but with utter confidence in her enthrallment of me--how she wakes smiling with round, shallow blue eyes, looking around for me or her daddy--yeah, those will go nicely with the tedium of tiredness. In fact, the brightness is rather overwhelming.