Shameless brag post

Okay, I have been way busy with work (and erm facebook) but I'll try to get a quick update in here at least weekly for a while. So here's something I was writing up as I pondered Sophie's recent explosion in a lot of areas... copy and pasted here, so yeah, brag brag brag!


..............................................................................................

We seem to be getting renewed interest in Starfall, maybe as she realizes its use as she gets more intense about sounding things out. DD is reading out words many times a day now. Tonight it was "Exit" at the restaurant where we grabbed dinner. After saying "There are four squares and that one looks like an I, and a C, and an E" (these were noodle illustrations, penne, curved, and really twisty... took me looking at it from her POV to see how the counter cut off hew view to make the rectangles all look like squares and cut off the twisted pasta picture so it did just look like a cursive sort of E to figure it all out). "And a fork! hahaha..."

She's also really into being read chapter books, and broadening out into books, movies, rides at Disneyland, etc with "scary parts." Not sure what this is all about; she was super timid and still is often, but then she goes on real rollercoasters and asks for scary books. But then some things randomly still scare her.

She's started asking questions, looking for us to reassure her that people/animals do not each ANIMAL fish/mice/chickens/what have you, but just FOOD fish/mice/chickens. I had to speculate today on whether some owls like to eat seeds, especially as she has been an owl all night (she is ALWAYS something). I wonder if this is just something for her to wrap her mind around, or if we'll be going veggy in our home soon....

She's been telling amazing stories about magical creatures and animals. I want to write them down for her just so she can enjoy them someday, but of course I just enjoy them right now. Tonight it was a purple cow was on her straw getting a drink, then it grew a little and sat by her plate to eat, then it grew wings and flew up through the air....

She's obsessed with distinguishing between rhyme and alliteration. She heard me and DH mention this term once (I'm an English teacher, he's a nice nerd, we were talking about how nice something sounded with it) and now she gets it really well. So everything with an echoing sound gets defined, rhyme or alliteration.

And she can suddenly, on her own, draw entire faces and then says "this one is mad because he has no legs!" and scribbles red all over her, and black all over another who is angry some other day... so I showed her some ways to make legs and stick bodies. She completely and perfectly traced a striped cat I had drawn for her. She has been drawing faces and then turning them into suns, saying this is a girl in a sun, this is Sophie in a sun (COSMIC b/c I drew a baby-her in a sun for a life map thingy I made for a model for my students at school). Today it was a girl, who then had fur b/c she was in a kitty costume, apparently. Then the other night she had a rage and methodically knocked every paper and crayon off her art table. I've never seen her like that, but it looked satisfying. It wasn't too hard to get her to clean it up, either. She said she just got mad. (I wonder if it was again cosmic and she KNEW I was having a rough management day and threw that back at me, lol-- the next day the freshmen and I clicked much better!) I want to laugh, it's so temperamental artist, so... me:o

S I guess as a teacher I'm just amazed at each step as she goes. Of course, as a teacher the hardest thing is for me to step out of the way and only help very rarely. She really drives herself, then hits a wall and only sometimes wants us to give her a little guidance.

"Pit to Distress"

Everyone needs to know about this. The standard of care for mothers and babies in the US (and other countries I'm sure) is just abominable. That we allow the medical industry to get away with this kind of BS is terrible. This is why I will never birth with anyone besides Dr. Wonderful and his team, or at home (more and more likely as the pit-loving, cut-loving OBs at the hospitals around here try to run them out of town, because they actually help women birth, instead of just inducing and cutting).

What is WRONG with people?????!!!!!

And while we're on the subject...

So, there are two bad secret ingredients of Hershey's chocolate...

First, most chocolate is on our don't-eat list (as I mentioned in my previous post) because it has artificial flavors. And, well, it tastes like crap. Luckily there's plenty of real chocolate available, even at the regular grocery store. It's just European and pricey. And there's even more choice at Jimbo's and the like. I remember what Hershey's chocolate used to taste like, how it used to melt in your mouth... it's just not the same anymore. It tastes fake and yucky. And of course Hershey's bought Cadbury and now the Cadbury we get in the USA is not the same stuff from England imported over here (which would be a dream-- yum!) but more of the same garbage. They ruined Cadbury Eggs! The gall.

And of course, another very important reason to avoid this stuff: The other secret ingredient is slavery. Yum!

It's not like I'm going to buy Hershey's if they switch to fair trade, unless they also switch back to selling chocolate and not just chocolate-FLAVORED bar food products. Or what have you. But I will still tell them to stop supporting slavery.

"Food"

A great news release shared online by my friend:

"CSPI Urges FDA to Ban Artificial Food Dyes Linked to Behavior Problems"

The gist:

A comprehensive 2004 meta-analysis of the medical literature concluded that artificial dyes affect children's behavior, and two recent studies funded by the British government found that dyes (as well as the preservative sodium benzoate) adversely affect kids' behavior. Unlike most previous studies, those British studies tested children in the general population, not children whose parents suspected they were sensitive to dyes. As a result, the British government is successfully pressuring food manufacturers to switch to safer colorings.

The scary part:

Americans' exposure to artificial food dyes has risen sharply. According to the FDA, the amount of food dye certified for use was 12 milligrams per capita per day in 1955. In 2007, 59 mg per capita per day, or nearly five times as much, was certified for use. Dyes are used in countless foods and are sometimes used to simulate the color of fruits or vegetables. Kraft's Guacamole Dip gets its greenish color not from avocados (there are almost none) but from Yellow 5, Yellow 6, and Blue 1. The blue bits in Aunt Jemima Blueberry Waffles are blue thanks to Red 40 and Blue 2, not real blueberries.

The especially infuriating part--these companies can totally do without the dyes!

More than a dozen American varieties of Kraft's Oscar Meyer Lunchables kids' meals contain artificial food dyes, but not so the British versions. Starburst Chews, Skittles, and M&M candies—all Mars products—contain the full spectrum of artificial colors in the U.S., but not in the U.K., where the company uses natural colorings. Even foods that aren't particularly brightly colored can contain dyes, including several varieties of macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes. Betty Crocker's Au Gratin "100% Real" Potatoes are partly not real, colored as they are with Yellow 5 and Yellow 6, both derived from coal tar. Remarkably, in Britain, the color in McDonald's strawberry sauce for sundaes actually comes from strawberries; in the U.S. it comes from Red 40.

I agree with the mom who is shocked at the FDA... except I'm not really shocked because the FDA notoriously allows all kinds of horrible things to go into and be done to our food... or should I say "food."

This is just like how toys made for the US often have had dangerous plastic parts, whereas the same toys made for Europe are safer. The USA is so crazy stupid about some things!

This is the one line I won't cross, when it comes to what we eat, and what Sophie eats. It's got to be actual food. Sometimes it can be processed, like refined white sugar (but not high fructose corn syrup, because how they process that is especially disgusting, and it's especially bad for you), or white flour, but it's got to at least start as food, not coal tar!

Favorite Parenting Books

Here's links to my favorite parenting books, because we keep chatting about this at playgroup and it's overwhelming. I'm looking for good tips on what to read next, too!

Something funny I noticed is that so many of these repeat the same idea: we need to change our ideas about "misbehavior" and make sure our expectations are developmentally realistic for our children. I know having set routines that work for ME and Sophie make both of us better able to enjoy the day, so that neither one of us runs out of internal or physical resources and crashes. Also, just reading books and articles helps me keep reminding myself that a lot of the time, all Sophie needs is a touch of connection and a few signals that Mommy and Daddy are indeed there to order the world, and she's cooperative and happy.



First, here's a list from Mothering's forums with a LOT of book and resource suggestions.

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
Amazing parenting philosophy; this captures what I already believe parenting and childhood should be. Not a lot of specific tips and tricks, though. Kohn's writing is very much based in solid research, and focused on enjoying our children as people right now, and helping them grow into independent and loving adults.

Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley
Wonderful specific techniques you can use immediately, that really work! Very gentle; I ignored the few bits on time out, and enjoyed the parts that remind us that we're really looking to help kids become responsible, happy adults, and that punishment doesn't work. Great advice for specific problem areas of parenting and life. A nice list of things you can try. I think she has a new "No Cry Discipline Book" to go with her No-Cry sleep books.

Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hilary Flower (and published by La Leche League)
Much longer than Kid Cooperation, but similar in terms of giving you reminders about how to tackle each day, and lots of specific tips.

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
It even has CARTOONS illustrating the techniques for engaging kids in positive interactions. Perfect for harried parents. I think this is more for older kids, though. I still am glad we have it on our shelf.

The Natural Child Project has many good articles about guiding children, what works and what to avoid. And just lots of interesting information about feminism, parenting history, breastfeeding...



Some other books and resources I'm checking out in the near future:

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles : Winning for a Lifetime by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, because my friend is finding it useful.

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Enjoy Parenting

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J Cohen Because I think we do a lot of stuff like he suggests, and I want more specific ideas, games, etc. Mary Poppins was a Playful Parent/Nanny, I think :)

Our Babies, Ourselves... Hold On to Your Kids... Reclaiming Childhood... Coloring Outside the Lines...

...Ah, and so many from the list on MDC above. I'm glad there's a lot out there, because like I said, it all helps keep me in a mindset that is open to seeing my daughter as a person and not just behaviors, and as a part of our larger family and not a child in a vacuum. I find it grants me patience and the resources to be creative, which is SO necessary.

So I'm looking forward to seeing what else people are reading or have found useful.

Word Part II -- What IS Attachment Parenting?

Since I'm on garage-sale eve here, I have no time to write, so it's another fun link.

But this is a big one! PhD in Parenting is a great blog I recently added to my Google Reader, and here its author puts together what AP is NOT, which I thinks help explain what it is. So many articles lately seem to be conflating AP with the hothouse/helicopter/status-driven/trendy/be the BEST parenting style going on lately... and that's not true at all. I think APers tend to be more laid back. So here it is, in much better words than my price-sticker/newsprint/hauling furniture brain can summon right now:

Attachment Parenting: What it is and isn't